The 3 Cs

Conflict:
It is a fact of life that if you throw a bunch of individuals in one place for long periods of time conflict, at one point, will arise. Sometimes it can be as tiny as a miscommunication, a misunderstanding or not picking up a grocery bag.  Sometimes it can be as large as where to buy groceries or what to do for the holidays.  Conflict is healthy because it brings up things that need to be talked about.  And then both parties can learn and change and move forward.   Conflict is a part of life.  Being angry isn't always a bad thing.  It can bring about change.

 

Communication:
This past month of my life I have learned different things about communication.  I have learned different things about my communication style, about others' communication style and whom in my life has helped me to communicate better.  I am learning what works best for me and what does not.  I am learning when to speak and when to  just shut my mouth and take some time to think.  I am learning what some people need to hear and what they need to learn on their own.  There are very specific people in my life who have helped me to prepare to communicate with my community and my co-workers.  A large part of communication is taking time to think before you speak which is always an area I need growth in.  Tone is a large part of how something is delivered.  There is a very smart woman in my life that always had the uncanny ability to say some of the most serious things.  But if anyone saw her talking, they would think she is saying the sweetest things in existence.  Those types of conversations have stuck with me more than the yelling or a condescending tone. 

Change:
I finally have realized this is the only constant in life.  As much as I like to think that everything back home would stay the same this year or my loved ones would just stay preserved in glass boxes.  I feel a little bit like Holden Caufield with that line.  In this month and a half of being away from home, I have realized with my own change and growth and others that, that isn't the case.  People move on,  memories fade, perceptions change and love deepens or weakens.  I've missed firsts, and lasts and birthdays and celebrations, and new jobs and it has only been a month.  Sometimes its hard to not be there for all of this but at the same time I know I am changing as well.  And so far I think the changes I have made are changes I am happy with.  

Push

Sunday night I went to mass at Spring Hill.  It was their student mass at 9.  To be at a Jesuit school at a student mass was an absolutely great feeling.  It was similar to Saint Joe's but it didn't have the same magic.  We met with the campus minister in charge of retreats and service.  The name of the chapel was Saint Joseph, which I found to be ironic.  The mass was exactly what I needed and during mass I got to thinking how so many adults and older folks say we're an awful generation, we don't do anything and who knows what else.  Well you know what?  No that's actually not the case.  We are the generation that believes in equality, that believes in doing something, that believes that they can be there for someone else other than themselves.  That church was packed tonight and it was all young people.  I've been to churches for "adults" and it was not even half full.  We are the generation that will do something, that was born to do something good.  We believe in less processed food, we believe in the farmers,  we believe in knowing where your meat comes from.  These aren't just the people I know, it's a lot of our generation.   We all have skills and it doesn't just start and stop in service jobs or humanitarian type things.  I know of young people in every field willing to go the distance to do something nice.  Not every person is going to do something huge, but we all can do little things and that's enough.

The priest talked in his homily how fear cripples people, and that sometimes all we need is a push.  If we have a fear of falling, we will never learn how high & far we can fly.  This year, as scary as it sometimes may seem, and as much as I want to stay in my hawk nest with my mommy, is my push and I AM learning to fly.

I leave you with this prayer by Oscar Romero.

It helps, now and then, to step back and take a long view.
The kingdom is not only beyond our efforts, it is even beyond our vision.
We accomplish in our lifetime only a tiny fraction of the magnificent enterprise that is God’s work.  Nothing we do is complete, which is a way of saying that the Kingdom always lies beyond us.
No statement says all that could be said.
No prayer fully expresses our faith.
No confession brings perfection.
No pastoral visit brings wholeness.
No program accomplishes the Church’s mission.
No set of goals and objectives includes everything.
This is what we are about.
We plant the seeds that one day will grow.
We water seeds already planted, knowing that they hold future promise.
We lay foundations that will need further development.
We provide yeast that produces far beyond our capabilities.
We cannot do everything, and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that.
This enables us to do something, and to do it very well.
It may be incomplete, but it is a beginning, a step along the way, an opportunity for the Lord’s grace to enter and do the rest.
We may never see the end results, but that is the difference between the master builder and the worker.
We are workers, not master builders; ministers, not messiahs.
We are prophets of a future not our own. 

Alabama & Football

Football became a very large part of my life in high school.  I started understanding the game more by going to Friday night football games in small town USA.  Here's the thing; where I'm from we weren't that good until our senior year.  Suddenly we were division champs.  And that had not happened in 20 years.  Needless to say my passion for football became a lot greater.  Along with loving high school football, I decided to pick a national team.  I chose the Giants because they were from my area and my only other options was being a Dolphins fan.  And that wasn't happening.  My senior year of high school was also the year the NY Giants won the Super Bowl.  Football became, and frankly always will be, my favorite sport to watch on TV.  A different side of me comes out.   My sophomore roommates would probably say the side that frequently comes out is my outside voice.  I never got into college ball because I didnt have a team and then I went to a college and my college did not have a team.

Now I know this is a lot of background about my life and football but I swear there is a point so bare with me.  Down here in Alabama football, college football to be exact, is just as important, if not more to some people than God.  Now that is a strong love and passion.  This past Friday was the kick off to all High School football and this past Saturday was the kick off to Auburn & Alabama.  I can't think of something as extreme as picking a team down here.  Maybe, MAYBE picking between chocolate or vanilla.  But who knows.  Yesterday, as I was driving home from work, I saw high school kids tailgating their game.  Today everyone, from grandma to granbaby, was sporting their Bama and Auburn gear. 

I can say for certain that for people down here, the most important things are God and football.  The usual questions are what team & what church?  And honestly I can get used to living in a place where God and football are that important.