http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3O1_3zBUKM8

Resentment

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they'd be asked the "half empty or half full" question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: "How heavy is this glass of water?"

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn't change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes." She continued, "The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything."

It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses. As early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don't carry them through the evening and into the night. Remember to put the glass down!

Girls Are Better than Boys

http://ideas.time.com/2013/05/23/the-girl-scouts-are-better-than-the-boy-scouts/

This has been looming over at Girl Scouts because we are now asked to answer questions about our policies or direct them to our PR person.  Essentially we do NOT discriminate against anything, which is another reason I am grateful to be working where I am during my JV year.

Funding

As I have now worked in a non-profit for over nine months now, (SUPER LONG TIME) I have come to realize all that goes in to running one.  A lot of that is money, obviously, but hear me out.  It comes from grants, donors, and funding from different community partners.  Recently in South Alabama Girl Scouts recently was cut from United Way by $83,000 which is a 99%. You can watch it hit our local news.  This greatly devastates the office that I work in and how hard it works for others.

http://www.wkrg.com/video?clipId=8901286&autostart=true

Old Friends

    This passed Friday I had the wonderful pleasure of getting to see my friend Meaghan.  Not only did I just get to see her but I saw her in one of our favorite places, Bayou La Batre.  Meg was my leader for my Winter Immersion trip there three years ago, and it was one of those turning points in my life.  I look up to Meg, as I do to most of the class of 2010. As I was sitting with her in a Mexican restaurant with a group of students she is facilitating on a similar trip, I had the joy of seeing her impact their lives just like she did mine. We tried to catch up as much as possible through the karaoke songs, our dinner, and the many of line dances. One of the greatest beauties of this evening was realizing I did not need to explain nor did she with so many things, they could just be spoken with our eyes or a humble smile.  Peace filled my heart as I did not need to explain myself, there is a beauty in having friends you have known you for a long time.  It is like an aged wine, it only gets better with time.  Her group of students was truly special and filled with heart.  It was most certainly one of the better nights and fulfilling I have had in a while. Thank you Rosemont for a great night.
    

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” ~Elizabeth Kubler Ross

Health Insurance

 Today I went to the pharmacy to pick up some medication.  I did not have my Pharmacy insurance card, the pharmacist assistant asked me if I wanted to see the prices without. I responded sure. Three separate medications total were $435.00, after I gave them my card $21.00, I kid you not.  I understand the importance of health care, and insurance now more than ever.  My girls tell me they do not always go to the doctors or cant afford the medications, and NO KIDDING.  I recognize the difficulties of living on the welfare price of food a day, and not having money for the things all necessary. I am not trying to start a topic, or get into any political debate.  But I just wanted to put that out there, give all of you some food for thought.

Homies

    A week ago I had the privilege of breaking bread physically and spiritually with Fr. Greg Boyle.  To say that I think of this man as a hero is truly an understatement.  He would also hate it if I told him that, which I did NOT.  My heart exploded from joy as I got to sit next to him at mass in the Jesuit's home.  Being able to celebrate before Jesus Christ with a man I believe embodies Christ to so many people was humbling.
         We then proceeded to the dining house and we had a cocktail hour of sorts, and true to Megan form I even sassed Fr. GB and he laughed a jolly laugh.  As he spoke in his talk tears rolled down my cheeks as even more burned behind my eyes.  His speech was so simple but it was filled with more heart and love then a human could ever dream of.  With his heart and his love he has known extreme hope and extreme loss as he has buried over 120 people during his mission work with Homeboy Industries.
          After the talk, my roommate and I waited to get a picture with him. I could not pass up an opportunity like this.  As we walked up, he hugged me and said "thank you for all that you do." WHAT I DO? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Those outbursts were kept inside my head, as my heart exploded from a compliment from my very own hero. 
      I will leave you with this beautiful quote from Fr. Greg Boyle that embodies a lot of my thoughts on humanity, and how I do my work. Just because your cry for help may be different then someone else  does not mean that we are not crying out for something, mainly to belong.  We are bound up in each other, and that is something we can never fail to forget.

 "We are all in need of healing, all of us are crying for help, it is the thing that joins us together."

Trauma Counseling

One of the greatest reasons I want to be a trauma counselor is I want my patient to be able to break free from the voice in their head of the abuser.  The one that tells them they weren't good enough or to be able to be touched again.  I want to empower my patients who will all be survivors and not victims.  Whether its physical, sexual or verbal I will let my patients know that they are beautiful just the way they are and the way god made them.  Their abuser and the incident will not have control over their day to day. I want my patients to break free from this person who might paralyze a part of their lives, or can produce a wall.  I want to walk with my patients to break that wall down and to be able to forgive themselves, their abuser and to of course love themselves again.

I am not naive I know that with some patients depending on the severity of the abuse and the duration it will take more than a session honestly some might take years but here is the thing....meet me at the corner of love and endless I'm there.  I am not giving up on people that so many others have chosen to give up on, I refuse. 

Also with some more thought on all of this, and knowing even more so this is what I want to do, it is my vocation I realize my ability to forgive is going to be tested every day by being a witness to their stories.  I told one of my roommates I am going to need to take up kickboxing to keep my calm.  So silver lining I will be in peak physical condition and hopefully a good ear for the people I will grow to love as soon as they enter my door. 

I miss you most in the quiet of a Sunday afternoon

those moments where everyone is busy

but I spent those hours with you

we filled those hours with chats and thoughts

now I am learning to just BE in silence

its just a step towards detachment 

I am aware that it was time to let go

but I miss you most on those Sunday afternoons.

If you were president...

Seeing as this Monday most of the world will have off for president's day, my specific area of the country will not because we had off for Mardi Gras.  I love Mardi Gras.  I was so lucky I got to indulge in this holiday for a second time in my life.  I love the moon-pies, the toilets from Tucks, the different ridiculous beads, and I love the masks.  Mardi Gras to me is how Carnivale is supposed to be celebrated with just a little bit more nudity than most people are comfortable with. 

Either way President's Day is tomorrow and seeing as it was so soon I based my lesson plans on just that.  While we were discussing America, and presidents and why Washington and Lincoln were important I asked the girls a question...

"If you ran for president what would you do?"

Here are their responses....

"I would paint the white house pink."

"I would give money to the poor people so they can buy new clothes to get jobs."

"I would give money to the kids so they can buy food, healthy good food, not food stamp food."

"I would buy old people puppies to make them happy."

"I would help the poor kids get better teachers and schools, and books."

Some responses of course we're funny, pink white house, and puppies for old people, but the other ones surprised me a bit because it showed me the perspective my girls have, and where they are coming from and what they think are our greatest needs.  The food stamp/healthy one was from a six year old.

My girls keep me honest, and passionate.  If it weren't for these girls with attitude, sass, and better dance moves than most my days here in Mobile would most certainly be lackluster. 

Driving Through Disaster

Not sure if anyone is aware of this but within one week span of time Mobile AL was hit with two tornadoes.  One a week before Christmas and a worse one on Christmas day.  If you follow the links on the bottom of the page they will show you the damage.

The reason I am writing about this now is because I drive right by some of the worst damage everyday on my way to work.  Most people during their commute just shuffle and bustle and are thinking about everything.  Everyday I do the normal thinking of other random things until I hit these effected areas and am instantly put in a place of gratitude that it did not kill anyone and that all that was lost can be repaired.  But it also makes me grateful for my house and that nothing happened to it.  It is honestly very difficult to drive through such an area and not take a second to be grateful. 

Driving through these areas also reminds me of my Appalachia trip last year to Bonanza Kentucky.  We did tornado relief there and that was the first time I had been in an area that had such devastation.  It hits you in a different way when you see people's things in trees and parts of cars or furniture. 
 


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SAGJNTKhG9w

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m76tKgWXblY





this is one of my favorite houses in Mobile and it was destroyed.


Murphy High School no longer exists.




Please pray for the people affected by the tornado.

Home

I have basically been asked the same question for the past month now.  Are you excited to be/go home? I have been hesitant to post this blog and all of my thoughts on it. 

Was I excited to leave Mobile to go Holm for two weeks? Of course.  Do not get me wrong, I have very much enjoyed being home and seeing family, friends, Saint Joseph's and Philadelphia.  But there lies the problem.  Before I left for Mobile I had a home I grew from being a child, which is my permanent address, but I also had a home where I grew into an adult, which is SJU.

 I was at Saint Joseph's for a basketball game a week ago.   I was walking around with one of my closest friends, Gretchen, who is doing JVC in Detroit.  As we were walking around this place that we both called home for four years and where we met, we both quickly got in a funk.

I do not know if I truly have a home at the moment.  My mother and family would say it's where they live.  My SJU family would say I always have a home there.  But currently my address is in Mobile, AL.  I feel like I do not have a place.  It's hard to expect to have the feeling of being home, but the places you called home no longer make you feel at home . 

My roots are yet to be planted and, in a way, they also have been uprooted.  So as of right now I am in the air.  No one ever said flying was a bad thing.  I always choose a bird if I could be any animal because I have always wanted to fly.  This post was going to be somewhat negative until I started writing it and now have reached it to see that it is all a good thing.

A photo an old friend took for me says this quote in it, I happened to come across this photo just as I decided to publish this.

"Home is not where you live but where they understand you."

I truly believe this statement is true.  So, though I may not have a physical home, a place to truly call my own with established roots, trunk and branches, I have many homes in the people that constantly support me.