A Year Off

   I think the reason they call it a year off is because you really are off the whole time.  I naively believed this would be like a service trip, and that I would be on an eternal high all the time.  But I'm not.   Mom & everyone else who cares, stop freaking out! There ARE moments that bring me supreme joy.  Here's the thing; I have a job and a routine.  And things, like in real life, don't always go the way you want them to.  Then I also am dealing with girls that don't have supportive and structured environments.  Girls who have been pushed through the education system without knowing basic math or writing skills, or who don't necessarily get the love they deserve.  

   I leave a site every day wondering if  I'll see those girls again the next week.  I then come home to find out about a domestic violence case my casamate had today, as well as my other casamate helping someone  pay their bills.  Having to hear and deal with all this stuff everyday does not make the day easier. Having goofy casamates does.  

    This is where the title of this blog comes in,  it is a year of my life that Is meant to make feel uncomfortable.  I am meeting, and staring square in the eye some of our country's greatest injustices and social systems.  If I felt all together while dealing with this everyday, I am NOT the person I and others know me to be.

   Yes, this is my year off.  But it is my year to face all of these issues.  It is my year to feel uncomfortable because when my life starts progressing as society expects it to, I will not be hardened by the strangers I meet and the situations I will encounter.  I will think of the souls who have touched me,  the faces I have seen, the rosto de cristo and, most of all, the stories that have made me feel off. 

In Thanksgiving...

It takes a village to raise a child.  I am eternally grateful for my village, I have been given one of the best ones out there. From Poland, to Holm, to SJU, and now to Mobile. Thank you for supporting me and inspiring me, but thank you most of all for the plethora of the LOVE.  I am forever indebted to you all.

Sisterhood

        I was really, really lucky when May 1995 came and then January 1998.  I got two of the greatest gifts I would EVER get in life; my sisters.  J & L are the best sisters anyone could get.  They are funny, sassy,  supportive, critical and some of the kindest and compassionate people I know.  By age, I may be older, but a lot of the time they act like my big sisters.  From helping me pick out an outfit,  to helping me calm my nerves, to just being some of the best advice givers I've come across, they really are the best.  

          Here is the wonderful thing about sisters.  You get the ones that are your blood, and just because women are awesome, you get ones you were given as friends.  This week has reminded me of just that.  I have had the privilege to talk to some of my closest girlfriends this week and/or be able to write them letters.  They are my other sisters.  I talked to my longest sister in life, my best friend since day one of kindergarten.  We always giggle, get things off our chest and listen.  She is the reason I know I can sustain anything for a long time since we have been friends for seventeen years.  

       I also got to talk to my soul lifting sister this week as well.  She is silly. smart and a lot of woman and female empowerment.  Which is something I always need.  She is up to her old silly ways and, of course. things like that only happen to her.  She always makes my soul feel lighter after having talked to her.   There are very few people in this world who can do that and she is one of them.  I am very lucky to call her one of my closest friends.  

        I also got to talk to my sister with who I wasn't sure that I would get along,  But once I saw her red hair and her little mermaid pillow cover I knew this girl was quite alright.  We had a great long chat and as always I wasn't grounded the whole time.  She makes me enjoy life and always reminds me not to worry and to be strong.  Just as I remind her of the same things.  She is vocation affirming and life giving and I know for sure I wouldn't have gotten throughout college without her.  

         Then there is the sister who I write letters to and I talk to just about everyday through an emoji or a picture of our ridiculous faces.  She has been one of the greatest sisters I have received this year.  She understands my struggles, my dilemmas at work, my dilemmas at home and even the dilemmas in my head.  We support from afar because Motor City is quite a ways these days.  

 

      But two of the best sisters I have received over the years are ones I got hired with.  My GP's, no matter how far away or how long it may be, it's still like nothing has changed.  Grateful for the two of them and their beautiful, crazy, wild selves.

        I know this is a bit of rant of how blessed I am to have such incredible birth sisters and friend sisters but I swear there is a point to it all.  No I did NOT mention everyone.  I have been blessed with plenty more, but this is just who I talked to this week for a significant amount of time.

        My boss had breast cancer 18 years ago and now she is a survivor.  All month she wore something pink and I wore my ribbon.  This cause mattered to me more than it ever did. She did the breast cancer walk and I went to go cheer her on.  Two days before, he sister texted her saying that no matter what happened on Saturday she was going to push her and help her get there until the end.  Her sister finished for her and so did some of her closest friends; her other sisters.   Women are as strong as the women they surround themselves with.  I have surrounded myself with some of the strongest ones and I am forever grateful for their presence in my life.

family

This week I lost my great aunt.  My grandma's sister.  She lived right next door to my grandma,  so whenever we were in Poland I stopped by her house just about every day.  We spent a lot of time together her and I and I started calling her grandma too.  This blog post is not for sympathy or for condolences I know you all are probably sending them. What this blog post is about is about family.  My incredible close knit family.  My mom is one of ten and her mom is one of ten.  I come from a large family just on that side alone.

I know that I can't be there this weekend when they put my white haired babcia in the ground, but I am there in spirit.  I know that all of my cousins are currently cleaning her house and getting it ready for the reception after and the unveiling of the casket before.  I know everyone is cooking the food that will be eaten and then some more for her daughter and her family to have some to eat for the next week.  I also know that my cousins that play instruments will be playing in the band that will play at her funeral, even if they haven't played in a long time.  I know her grandsons will be the alter server boys, I know they will get my cousin who lives far away to be the priest.  

I know all of these things without having being told,  because I know my family.   They are strong they are supportive and they at times like this pull together.  She may not have been all of our's grandma but she is our family.  

Since Polish is the only way I truly know how to say goodbye to the dead here is a prayer to conclude this post.

Wieczny odpoczynek racz Mu dać Panie 

A Światłość Wiekuista niechaj Mu świeci na wieki wieków AMEN! 

Wieczny odpoczynek racz Mu dać Panie 

A Światłość Wiekuista niechaj Mu świeci na wieki wieków AMEN! 

Wieczny odpoczynek racz Mu dać Panie 

A Światłość Wiekuista niechaj Mu świeci na wieki wieków AMEN! 

Odpoczywaj w spokoju wiecznym Najukochańszy Ojcze Święty!